Sunday, 13 June 2010
A POST ABOUT HATE
Having just read GirthfulGirl's tumblr post regarding obnoxious (and frankly pathetic) Facebook groups, I feel enraged.
There are COUNTLESS things wrong with such groups, but the most disgusting thing is the sheer number of people who believe it is acceptable to deem themselves responsible for telling others what to wear and how to present themselves.
I will tell you (somewhat paradoxically) who is responsible for such things - nobody.
N O B O D Y has the right to tell you that there is some kind of fucking 'limit' on what you can and cannot wear.
That is a subjective thing, and nine times out of ten if I encounter somebody who manages to take offence at me wearing tight clothing then they are several things:
- Shallow, reprehensible, terrible people
- Dull individuals with little to no sense of individuality
- People with a lack of security regarding their OWN physique and looks.
Just like the lovely woman behind that tumblr post, I also was immediately swathed with memories of such occasions where my body shape and size was held against me before people were capable of knowing me. And not only that, I'm going to share a time when I was about 14 and hanging around in the park in Autumn with a bunch of friends and their friends.
I remember that the girls were talking about another person, and then suddenly Girl A blurts out "BUT SHE'S FAT", in this disgusted manner which genuinely stung.
The others laughed, I sort of blinked a bit and looked at Girl A, before she immediately realised what she did and I could feel her insides cringing. So she winced, and said, "you know, she has the fat mentality. But you don't. Don't worry," and then she has a smirk, "you could lose weight, too."
The 'fat mentality'?
What the fuck is the 'fat mentality'?
There's a different type of person now, someone lesser than you, because they're thicker and wider?
Why does being thicker and wider make me a lesser person than you?
The awesome truth is that it doesn't make you a lesser person. I have nobody reading this as of yet but I want to tell everybody who has ever felt embarrassed being fat that you are not a despicable person.
You are not unlovable, you are not in the wrong. I'm stating the obvious, but as sad as it is, I know that the more this kind of thing becomes commonplace, the more being fat becomes a stigma, the harder it is for people to go about their lives without feeling awkward and ashamed of themselves.
And I know this especially well, because even to this day I have my episodes of anxiety and distress about such things.
Fear of dressing in leggings and going to college because somebody will laugh at me, or talk behind my back about how 'disgusting' it may be for me to wear leggings; all because I've seen them join a Facebook group just like the one mentioned.
People are cruel, and it makes me so upset.